I first read this story in a short book given to me by John Assaraf, titled “You2 “(squared) by Price Pritchett. It’s profoundly simple and powerful story to help you understand the Quantum Leap mindset. ..
“I’m sitting in a quiet room at the Milcroft Inn, a peaceful little place hidden back among the pine trees about an hour out of Toronto. It’s just past noon, late July, and I’m listening to the desperate sounds of a life-or-death struggle going on a few feet away.
There’s a small fly burning out the last of its short life’s energies in a futile attempt to fly through the glass of the windowpane. The whining wings tell the poignant story of the fly’s strategy: Try harder. But it’s not working.
The frenzied effort offers no hope for survival. Ironically, the struggle is part of the trap. It is impossible for the fly to try hard enough to succeed at breaking through the glass. Nevertheless, this little insect has staked its life on reaching its goal through raw effort and determination. This fly is doomed. It will die there on the windowsill.
Across the room, ten steps away, the door is open. Ten seconds of flying time and this small creature could reach the outside world it seeks. With only a fraction of the effort now being wasted, it could be free of this self-imposed trap. The breakthrough possibility is there. It would be so easy.Why doesn’t the fly try another approach, something dramatically different? How did it get so locked in on the idea that this particular route and determined effort offer the most promise for success? What logic is there in continuing until death to seek a breakthrough with more of the same? No doubt this approach makes sense to the fly. Regrettably, it’s an idea that will kill.
Trying harder isn’t necessarily the solution to achieving more. It may not offer any real promise for getting what you want out of life. Sometimes, in fact, it’s a big part of the problem. If you stake your hopes for a breakthrough on trying harder than ever, you may kill your chances for success.
What I took away from this story is that trying harder is rarely the answer, especially for women entrepreneurs. We have to stop trying and start BEing.
As R2D2 (?) in Star Wars said “Try? There is no ‘try’. There is only Do and Do Not”…;-).
I certainly used that one on my daughters as they were growing up. I use it on myself just about daily when I catch myself saying “I’ll try”.
To get yourself into a Quantum Leap mindset, stop beating your head against the proverbial window and visualize the perfect end result… think creatively about how you might accomplish it instead of just doing things the same way you’ve always done them.
Allow me to introduce you to Lauren E. Miller. Google “stress relief expert” and you’ll find Lauren in the top spot (usually). And the she’s the Founder of Stress Solutions University. Lauren and I met when she was launching her latest book “99 Things You Wish You Knew BEFORE Stressing Out”.
You see, Lauren knows what she’s talking about from a very personal perspective.
She experienced 2 of life’s most major stressors- at the same time… Divorce and cancer.
Lauren was diagnosed with breast cancer one week before her divorce was to be final.
When we met, I realized she had an opportunity to monetize her book into a recurring income stream by creating a much needed member-based learning community around the topic of stress relief.
Lauren agreed. We decided that I would provide the content revenue strategy and technical infrastructure to support her vision. She would be Chief Content Creator, and begin by creating 99 coaching videos for each of the 99 Things in her book.This would translate into 11 video coaching modules, with 9 videos in each module.
Since this book was about the “mental” skillset required for stress relief, we decided that Stress Solutions University would be about acquiring the “physical” skills – techniques and tools to relieve stress on your own, and access your full potential.
Lauren would deliver LIVE video coaching “stress relief” hot seats, interview experts, and provide a discussion forum and resource section for members of all of her recommended resources gained over 18 years of studying and using her techniques.
This video below is of one of her “mindset” coaching videos from the book 99 Things You Wish You Knew BEFORE Stressing Out, the text below is it is excerpted from the book:
To Stress or Not to Stress…that is the question. And your choice of response makes all the difference in the outcome. Stress is a signal within your body giving you the opportunity to identify and adjust your perception, Lauren offers some tips on how to adjust your perception.
A recent study out of UCLA’s Jonsson Comprehensive Cancer Center revealed that chronic stress acts as a sort of fertilizer to cancer cells. If you know anything about the physiological effects of stress on the body from high blood pressure to increased cortisol levels and a compromised immune system you might say, “You think?” At least that’s what I said when I read the findings.
It was one week prior to my final divorce court date when I was diagnosed with stage-three breast cancer. Because I don’t believe in divorce (in my tribe you stay married for life) I was under some serious stress and my body was talking to me about it all.
Have you ever broken down the word disease? Dis-ease: Feelings of uneasiness in the body due to perceived situations that are seen by the viewer as a potential threat to their safety (emotionally, physically or spiritually).
Two of your core needs in life are connection and safety. When you feel unsafe you feel dis-connected and you begin to stress out: “Oh no, I’m not safe; I might fail; I might be fired; I might be unseen, unheard, or overlooked.”
One way to disconnect from feelings of insecurity is to connect to that which is secure within you—along with what you value most in life. What do you value most in your life? I would venture to guess that it exists beyond the five senses.
Make a list of everything that you value most in this life and take time every day to nurture one or two things on that list. You will find that when you align yourself to that which you value most, you fertilize your sense of safety in all situations. This, in turn, releases a sense of ease in your body. Surely, a portion of the time you spend Skyping, texting, emailing and cell phoning can be used to create ease in your daily life, especially knowing it has the potential to save your life.
When your priorities are clear your decisions are easy, which in turn lowers the stress and dis-ease level inside of your body. Remember, it’s your choice. One of my daily mantras is “people before things.” Each time I practice this throughout the day I am given the opportunity to choose between the essential and the nonessential. When you connect with the essential, the result is a life of value and inner peace.
As Dr. David Hawkins points out, “Peace is the natural state when truth prevails.” Align yourself with truth, what is good, pure, excellent and praiseworthy.
Create a Great Day,
When I read this, it resonated so much, that I was instantly compelled to make this my guest post for this week!
He’s got a unique spin – he says there are 5 MENTAL rooms inside an entrepreneur’s mind, and a true entrepreneur must learn how to guard the doors of each room and think in a certain way order to achieve their goals. He includes one room at the end that I NEVER see anyone else talk about enough…
Inside the Mind Of An Entrepreneur
by Joris Washington
It’s hard to make up your bed while you’re still sleeping in it. Hard to make up your mind for the same reason.
Welcome to the mind of an entrepreneur! Do you realize what it takes to receive an idea, visualize it, plan it, and act on it with ferocity in order to bring it to life and prosper? There is an enormous difference between wanting to do something and being able to make a living at doing that something. The tools needed for such an endeavor can’t be purchased at a store, leased online or borrowed from your friend. You either have the weapons or “tools”needed for day-in and day-out operations for achievement or you don’t. It’s as simple as that. Let’s go inside the mind of an entrepreneur to see what exists, shall we?
Knock Knock! The 10 foot steel doors of the entrepreneurial mind creep open as the sound of, “State your request!”, immediately resonates upon entry. You see, this type of mind checks everything at the door to both validate importance and determine whether a quick eviction is warranted. There are many things going on within this multi-roomed amphitheater of activity, so nonsense, negativity and trojan horses that come in many forms are quickly hooked and pulled out. Ok, I see you’ve been allowed to continue the tour. Let’s take a stroll of the room that provides the fuel need to start everything…COURAGE.
Are you willing to risk it all on something you think will work? Are you willing to skip weekends and holidays? Are you willing to lose sleep while playing out hundreds of scenarios in your mind relative to what might happen if you do this or that?
Well, in this particular room, all of the above is considered and accepted as the cost needed to be paid in order to overcome any and all obstacles.
The credo in the room of courage requires that once you’ve fueled up, there is no turning back. In order to confirm that you’re “bout it, bout it” regarding this challenge, all bridges crossed to get to this point have been blown up. Yes, [GULP]….blown. Two choices: Forward progress or stagnation. Remember? No turning back! Would you still like to continue the tour? Next up…FAITH
Now that you have the courage needed, it is imperative that FAITH is loaded and carried in large amounts.
However, this special ingredient won’t arrive with the speed of ordering fast food.
In this room, you cannot move any further until you’re truly connected to a higher source only you can explain. The higher connection I’m speaking on is like no other.
You can’t buy, beg or borrow it, nor can you predict the amount of time it takes to acquire.
All I know about the room of Faith is that nothing can be manifested without it. If you think I’m lying, try it. I guarantee you within a very short period of time, failure will be calling you on a first name basis (with a smile).
Faith is a very special thing to possess. Again, time lines for solid aquisition may vary individually based on the amount of bags or bag”gage” one carries in other hidden closets of the mind. Meanwhile, let’s move on to the next room…COMMITMENT
You’re fueled up on courage, loaded out with faith, and now ready to confirm to yourself and the world your intentions.
If you define commitment, it’s about a pledge or an obligation, right?
This is where all the talk, ra ra and whoop di whoop ends. A new vocabulary starts with removing what if, maybe and might while replacing with who, where, what time and let’s negotiate. Here’s a few basic commitments to affirm:
- Commitment to values – this is your core, if you work with commitment to your values, you will work your hardest.
- Commitment to goals – successful people set goals, but setting goals is nothing if you don’t stick with them. (Sound familiar?)
- Commitment to action – every single day you need to commit an action towards your goals.
- Commitment to continuous improvement – it’s about being your best and maintaining integrity and pride.
Put these four commitments in your pocket and get to steppin in the direction of whatever it is you’re out to accomplish. You’re getting there! Next up……ACTION!
All the plans, prayers and chants in the world are absolutely worthless without action.
In this room, prepare for actual “hands on” combat.
Picture it as a boxer’s first fight after training hard for 6-8 weeks. You’re not afraid and ready for action. You’re connected to a Higher Power. You’re committed to winning, and now it’s time to kick some ass or get your ass kicked.
What’s important to know is if you’re acting on it, everything you’ve envisioned has now started to move in your direction. By the way, don’t worry about getting hit, because you will. In fact, the first time you get kicked in the ass real hard, it brings out even more determination in you. ACTION!
The last location for touring is the mental room of RELAXATION.
This is also mandatory in keeping one refreshed in order to tackle challenges with efficiency.
The moment you’re saying you “don’t have time”, you’re in trouble because time spent is actually controlled by you, and not the other way around.
Find time to immerse yourself in those things that contribute to your overall well being such as meditating, catch up on your reading, go for a walk, camp out, etc. If you don’t take the time to reset, I can assure you that burnout, whining, complaining and incessant sickness will follow.
Courage, faith, commitment, action and relaxation…These are the mental rooms frequently occupied by the entrepreneur, and every little thing I do, Red Rooster Catfish is on my mind.
Happy Birthday Jonique! I love you.
(And WE love this post Catfishianado!)
Saw these two infographics and thought it time I posted something about Pinterest. If women consumers are your market, this is your spot.
- Close to 70% of Pinterest users are female.
- 56% of users are between the ages of 25-44
- Over 1 million visitors EACH DAY
- Pintrest refers more traffic to other sites than Linkedin, Google+ and YouTube(!) combined
- SOCIAL MEDIA CAPITALIST FACT: 28% of Pinterest users have annual household incomes of $100k
The following will take you to Mashable, where you can read that:
- A recent study showed that home, arts and crafts, style/fashion and food are the most popular categories on Pinterest.
- Food category is the fastest growing segment of Pinterest.
Welcome to Fierce Feminine Friday. It’s something I’ve thought about doing for a while to showcase the Fierce Feminine women thought leaders who are out activating and making things happen. No time like the present, right?
So, I’m kicking it off with this guest post by Katie Matlack, who reached out to me, and actually made it through my inbox gauntlet ;-). What I found so inspiring is that these are mothers, leading the edge of thinking, making healthcare better for all of us.
Having spent the first 19 years of my work life in one of the top 15 academic healthcare systems in the U.S. I can resonate with what these moms are doing. It’s no easy task to navigate our American healthcare system, let alone be able to create a movement for change.
Take it away Katie:
by Katie Matlack
Women are the more active gender on online social networks, and are the healthcare decisionmakers in most families, too. Taken together, these two facts help explain why women–moms in particular–often are responsible for using the web to bring powerful stories from the grassroots level to the world, effecting real change in healthcare.
To learn more about the topic I spoke with Deb Levine, a pioneer when it comes to using the web as a tool for social change related to health information access and technology. She founded the award-winning online sexual health Q&A site Go Ask Alice, and recently won an award from the White House for her team’s design of an app used to help prevent dating violence at colleges and universities. Levine, a mother of two, observed that being a mom “informs all of [her] work and writing” and is “an overarching influence” on her.
“Women who are mothers are writing about sensitive issues,” she continued. “[They] are the people who, in bringing health issues to the forefront, are pushing healthcare reform and access while also bringing attention to important issues like maternal mortality.”
Below, I’ll discuss five moms doing important work to improve healthcare and the tools available in health for the wellness of themselves and their families–and ultimately, of all of us.
1) Deb Levine – Trustworthy health information access for young adults
Follow Deb on Twitter: http://twitter.com/debisis
Levine built what’s known by many as the first major health Q&A site, Go Ask Alice; it was also named by Stanford University as the most accurate reproductive health info site on the Internet. The site’s success–it receives over 1.5 million hits per month–illustrates what Levine’s work showed us: that “topics considered to be shameful and embarrassing like sex are best discussed behind a screen–computer screen then, mobile phone and PDA today.” Today Levine directs a nonprofit, Internet Sexuality Information Services, and is organizing next month’s conference, Sex::Tech, on new media, youth, and sexual health.
2) Jodi Jacobson – Advocacy for public health and reproductive and sexual health & justice
Follow Jodi on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jljacobson
Visit RH Reality Check (RH stands for reproductive health) to get an idea of Jacobson’s impact. She’s the Editor-in-Chief there and writes regularly about news events that stand to impact reproductive health rights. For example, Jacobson was partially responsible for publicizing and drumming up outcry against the Susan G. Komen Foundation’s policy change in February that, were it not reversed, would have denied preventative health services to thousands of women. In addition to providing information directly to the masses on this site, Jacobsen frequently weighs in as an expert cited in mainstream publications including the Lancet and The Economist. She also founded and led the Center for Health and Gender Equity, an internationally-influential organization that produces cutting-edge research on international policies and programs.
3) Robin Strongin – Elimination of “gatekeepers” to drive disruptive change in the health sphere
The name of the blog Strongin created sums it up: Disruptive Women in Health Care. The blog’s been around since 2008 and serves as a platform for “provocative ideas, thoughts, and solutions in health.” Strongin realized that the health sphere needed input and direction from some outsiders in order to advance the pace of change. Today bloggers post on her site about underreported issues such as the surprising shortage of primary care physicians or the need for better incentives for mobile health in the U.S. Thus, the blog serves to amplify the voices of its contributors through its coverage in mainstream media outlets such as CBS.
4) Penelope Trunk – Creation of dialogue around miscarriage and working women’s health issues
Follow Penelope on Twitter: http://twitter.com/penelopetrunk
Trunk writes a popular blog about “the intersection between work and life” and regularly posts Tweets shared on her site as well. When she inadvertently created an uproar by tweeting about her own miscarriage, however, her influence on society’s acceptance and understanding of health issues was made clear, too. Major outlets such as ABC, CNN and AOL covered the reactions to the tweet, serving to shed light on the misplaced shame that sometimes complicates understanding and support of health issues.
5) Mary Brune – Connecting moms to information about toxic environmental risks
Brune’s work highlights important information that impacts infant health as well as environmental health conditions that touch us all. Her site, MOMS–which stands for “Making Our Milk Safe”–was founded to bring mothers together to collaborate for a healthier and safer environment for their children. It publicizes risks and protection measures on toxics, and has been featured in a PBS special on toxic toys.
Katie Matlack writes about health information technology and electronic health record system options for Software Advice. You can view the original article this story is based on here.
What is Wisdom?
“A basic philosophical definition of wisdom is to make the best use of knowledge. The opposite of wisdom is folly.
The ancient Greeks considered wisdom to be an important virtue, personified as the goddesses Metis and Athena. To Socrates and Plato, philosophy was literally the love of Wisdom (philo-sophia). Aristotle, in his Metaphysics, defined wisdom as the understanding of causes, i.e. knowing why things are a certain way, which is deeper than merely knowing that things are a certain way.
In the Inuit tradition, developing wisdom was the aim of teaching. An Inuit Elder said that a person became wise when they could see what needed to be done and do it successfully without being told what to do.”
The 13 Grandmothers have come together in service to global healing at this critical moment in our evolution. Each of them represents prayer lineages from indigenous peoples around the world – carrying traditions from the Mayan people, Inuit, Amazon rainforest, Nepalese and others.
The members of the 13 Indigenous Grandmothers will be offering guidance and wisdom for those who want to enter the mystery together, deepen their spiritual connection and, in doing so, help light our way forward. Collectively, they have spent more than 1,000 years learning the wisdom of their peoples and becoming some of the most respected Native elders in the world.
And now they are called to share with us what they know.
They are doing this through an online course called The Wisdom of the Grandmothers, and it’s being led by the International Council of 13 Indigenous Grandmothers themselves.
This is a rare opportunity to be part of this sacred circle and learn from these wise elders.
You can learn all of the details and sign up here: The Wisdom of the Grandmothers